Cancer takes a piece of you!

I told you it wouldn’t be long before I would be back writing again! 😂

I made quite a powerful statement in my counselling session last week ‘cancer takes a piece of you’ and it really resonated with me and gave me a lot of clarity.  It can take away your freedom as your life becomes restricted by not living beyond one appointment to the next or in three-week blocks according to the treatment plan.  You have to cope with the side effects and grieve for the life and body you once had and somehow carry on with the here and now as life still goes on, it’s a lot to process all at once.   Although I’ve only just recently finished my treatment I can already see that the psychological impact of getting a cancer diagnosis will continue for a long time.  I’m now in the position that I’ve got to find a ‘new normal’ knowing my life will never be quite the same again and I’ll never be able to put it fully behind me.

I look the same to all my friends and family and strangers on the street wouldn’t know by looking at me that I’ve had cancer but for me I have a constant reminder I have a body that doesn’t work the way it used to.  I used to love going out to eat but now I have to scan menus to see what I can eat in order to avoid excruciating stomach cramps, bloating and multi toilet trips this usually results in picking something bland and boring and not choosing what I’d prefer to eat, I also have to Scan places to find the nearest toilets, all these things create a lot of anxiety and kills spontaneity.

I realise this all sounds very negative and to be honest it is as nobody would choose this, however how I chosen to look at it is that it’s only one piece of me, grief of losing a loved one takes a piece of you, heartbreak takes a piece of you or any other major life event.  All these events take a piece of you but they undoubtedly shape who you become.  Cancer will not define me but it has helped me to grow as a person, I will always have to live with the impact cancer has had on my body and mind and it will never be far from my thoughts with ‘the fear’ being one of the worst things to live with but I will learn to live with it.

Since finishing treatment I have been feeling very flat but now is the time to reset and focus on moving forward and adapting to this new body I have been given and build a relationship with it so I can I live my best life.

 

6 thoughts on “Cancer takes a piece of you!

  1. Hi! I just wanted to say that I completely agree with you. I was diagnosed at 29 with stage 3 bowel cancer and got the all clear in August. I had my stoma reversed 2 weeks ago and only now am I realizing the impact that treatment had on me. I’ve actually just booked an appointment to see a psychiatrist! So I’m hoping that will help 🙂
    Good luck with your ‘new normal!’
    Olivia xx

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    1. That’s great that you have the all clear and that you have recognised some support would be helpful for you, there’s no time limit on the effects of cancer it’s impact is massive and it’s easy to underestimate it! Wishing you lots of luck x

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  2. I got the all clear Monday 👍 for bowel cancer, I’ve got a permanent stoma, I’m the same at the moment, I’m just so tired,I used to love walking,I can’t even walk around the corner shop now without getting breathless,so many people tell me how well I look, hopefully it will soon start feeling better, I’m just grateful that I’m still here and hopefully have a better Christmas, all the best to you all ❤️ XX

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    1. Congratulations that’s great news. I think the effects of treatment will take a good while to subside but like you say we are still here and we can begin to re build. Wishing you lots of luck x

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  3. I agree with all you say and it’s true that only us “sufferers” know what the mental side of cancer taking away part of us feels like.

    It’s tough real tough, but on the brighter side at least we are alive and kicking 😊 and i for one am very grateful for that.

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